Deviation Actions
Literature Text
To start, an "easter egg" is defined as: "an unexpected or undocumented feature in a piece of computer software or on a DVD, included as a joke or a bonus" (thanks, Google). So this story isn't computer software or a DVD, but what I mean by Easter Egg is that it's a little "bonus" story that wasn't included in the original fic. Anyway, this story is about Starscream and Megatron going to Vos, Cybertron for a weekend-long prenatal class when Starscream's about seven months pregnant with his twins, also known as Stars and Megs. Starscream is doing it because he likes anything to do with classes and learning, and as the sire, Megatron is kind of...dragged along.
...
"You're sure we can't go to Vosnia?" Starscream asked. "I'd really like to do it there."
"I don't speak the language and to be honest I don't really care for the species that populates the planet," said Megatron. "Vos is bad enough as it is."
"Cybertron had some things to learn about Vosnia," Starscream said haughtily. "For example, no class system. Sure, some places are poorer than others, but everyone is free to fly and reproduce as they please...sometimes at the same time. And functionism isn't an issue."
"Functionism isn't an issue because you all have the same mold!" Megatron reminded him. "And is it really popular to make love and fly at the same time?"
"Sure." Starscream nodded. "But anyway, I signed us up for this birthing class. It's in a hospital."
"You already signed us up?!" Megatron shouted.
"Well, this way you can't squirm out of it." Starscream looked at the digital pamphlet he had on his datapad. "See? In one weekend, the class teaches me everything I need to know about giving birth...and everything you need to know too. We need to bring two pillows and one picnic blanket or yoga mat type of thing."
"But I don't know if we have any pillows without weird stains on them..."
"Nonsense, I bought some cute NEW pillows for the twins!" Starscream grinned. "I hope you don't mind that I used your credit card."
"I do mind!" Megatron was angry because Starscream got so much pleasure out of infuriating him, but what could he do? It was hard enough just to keep Starscream's mood "calm". After all, he was moody enough before he was pregnant with twins. Now, well, let's just say Megatron preferred to let Skywarp and Thundercracker deal with him. But he was duty-bound, as the sire, to go to the birthing class. Somewhere deep inside, he knew it wasn't exactly fair to knock Starscream up and then leave him to do everything by himself, but...whatever.
It was true that he got a little bit tense whenever he thought something might endanger Starscream. Megatron might not have asked for these sparklings, but he did want them to be healthy; he wasn't a MONSTER, after all! Well, maybe sometimes. If someone tried to hurt Starscream or the twins, then he'd certainly go all monster on them! As far as Megatron was concerned, the only one who was ever allowed to pick on Starscream was him. Especially now.
So off they went. Moonbeam, Gemstone, Skywarp and Thundercracker stayed behind with the rest of the Decepticons--except Astrotrain, who got to be their ride. Starscream at this point in his pregnancy couldn't fly, so they had to find other transportation. Astrotrain wasn't happy about being their ride, but it wasn't like he could do anything about it. All anyone ever did was use him for rides, after all. It's not like they'd ever ask him to be their training partner or back them up in battle. Nope, he might as well just be named "Chauffer".
When Starscream and Megatron got on board, their triple-changer friend took off. Motion didn't make Starscream sick anymore, so he was holding his datapad with one hand, resting his other hand on his belly, smiling tranquilly. Megatron wasn't complaining, but he wasn't really sure why Starscream was in such a good mood today (this was rare). Was it because he was going back to his home city, or was it because he was a little nervous about giving birth for the first time and had found something to calm him down? Megatron hadn't been preparing to be somebody's father, so he didn't know what his role would be in his new family, but that didn't make him want to take a class.
Starscream was reading an article about, of course, having sparklings. It was a little scary. So he often wondered why he was reading them at all. Right now he had unwisely searched "What Is Labor Really Like?" and found himself biting his fingers in worry, especially when it was described as "sort of like really bad gas". Didn't he have enough of that NOW?
After about an hour Starscream started to get uncomfortable, so he had Megatron rub his back and wings. Unfortunately, Megatron wasn't good at it, and lost interest after about a minute.
"Hey! Get back over here!" Starscream found himself constantly yelling. "My back is still really sore! Wings, too!"
Starscream wanted to make Megatron wear some kind of real heavyweight on him all the time yet still go about his daily duties, see how he liked it. But then again, Megatron could take on a 1,000-pound load without breaking a sweat, so forget that.
It was a long time before they reached Vos; in fact, it was already night. The classes would start tomorrow. Megatron thanked Astrotrain for the ride (the triple-changer just grunted in reply and left for Earth). Meanwhile, Megatron and Starscream had to find a hotel, and that meant they had to hail a hovercraft.
"Remember, this is Vos," Starscream reminded Megatron. "So even though the majority of citizens speak Cybertronian, some might only be able to speak Vosnian."
With that Starscream waved his arms all around in the air and shouted something in Vosnian. It was physically impossible for him to jump up and down, but he was attracting attention anyway. Before long a hovercraft pulled over. Megatron had no earthly idea what either of them were saying, but Starscream had a short conversation with the Seeker in the hovercraft.
"Where to?" he grunted, his Vosnian slightly muffled due to the smoking cigarette in his mouth.
"Take us to Four Sparks Hotel," Starscream replied sweetly.
"You got it," said the driver shortly. "That is, if'n yer willin' to pay."
"Megatron here will gladly pay the fare for me," Starscream told him.
"Well, then get in," the cabbie replied.
"Okay, but you'll have to open the windows and put out your cigarette," said Starscream. "I can't inhale smoke, you see."
"As you wish," the cabbie mumbled, and put his cigarette out with his fingers.
"How do all these Seekers know Vosnian?" Megatron asked in Cybertronian as he buckled his seat belt and then helped Starscream buckle in too (no easy task). "This is Cybertron, isn't it?"
"We learn it in Seeker School." Starscream shrugged. "It's a class we have to take in order to graduate. Plus, it's pretty fun for us Seekers to have our own language, too."
"It's going to be really awkward being the only non-Seeker there," said Megatron.
"No it's not," Starscream told him, smiling. "Everyone is equal now. Seekers used to be part of the intelligence class, and you used to be part of the disposable class. But now these silly ideas are history. And we owe it all to you."
"They tried to put me through empurata once," said Megatron. "It was a pretty gruesome room, because I guess they didn't bother to clean up the appendages of those who'd suffered it before me. But I think they changed their minds when I grabbed one of the--one of the heads lying on the floor and crushed it in one hand. Then I stood up and grabbed a knife and they all ran, even though I wasn't really planning on doing anything with it."
"Heads?" Starscream's eyes grew a little wider. "I always thought they only cut off hands."
"If only," said Megatron. "I had many allies become victims of this practice, including Shockwave."
"So that's why he has an eye for a face and a blaster for a hand," said Stascream. "Geez, now I almost feel guilty about teasing him for being the worst shot on Cybertron."
"I guess it's good to know somebody's story before you judge them," Megatron replied.
...
By the time they arrived at the hotel, Starscream was sleeping in the cab, his head on Megatron's shoulder. Megatron knew how hard it was for Starscream to get to sleep and he didn't want to wake him up. But sleeping in a hotel bed would certainly be better than sleeping in a hovercraft, wouldn't it?
Megatron drowsily checked his watch and saw that it was now past midnight on Vosnian time. They should have left in the morning, not the afternoon. Then maybe they would still see streaks of pink and orange in the sky as Alpha Centauri set on their planet. Megatron stood up and slung Starscream over his shoulder without awakening him, and picked up the duffel bags in his other hand. Then he paid the cabbie using his credit card. In response, the cabbie tipped his hat, lit another cigarette, and sped away.
Starscream slept through it all, but Megatron checked in, got a room key, and set down their duffel bags in the corner. They were only going to be gone for the weekend, so they'd traveled light. (Unfortunately, "traveling light" for Starscream meant at least two bags, one of them including the buffing-and-waxing kit alone.) Megatron gently set Starscream down on the bed and pulled the covers over him.
"You really are a pain in the aft," Megatron whispered, holding Starscream's hand. "I just wish I knew how to quit you."
Starscream smiled in his sleep as if listening (really he was just having one of his preggo-dreams about baby animals again). Megatron kissed him on the head quickly, making sure nobody was watching, then turned out the light.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Stay tuned for Class 1 in Chapter 2!
